Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Musing on Grandparenting

While in Amarillo, my sister-in-law, Mary came by with two of her grandchildren. When we were busy raising our children, I learned much from watching her raise her girls who were older than my children. Now I am blessed in watching her mentor her grandchildren. I don't have grandchildren yet (and I'm in no hurry - my children will choose or not choose to have children on their own time schedule with my full blessing whatever they choose).

Mary has always been involved with her grandchildren. When the children were young and in day care, Mary was always available when they were ill. What a blessing to have someone who loves you so much be there when you are feeling sick and miserable. Halee and Kayla know that when they come to grandma's house they get to paint. I went up to Mary's workroom and saw Christian's photographs from Savannah, and Halee and Kayla's creativity with paint and footprints. Our visit coincided with spring break. The kids came to spend the night, and knew they would get to paint! Mary puts down vinyl table cloths over the carpet and the girls are free to exercise their creativity. Last year at Christmas, I saw their eyes light up when they opened their package with all sorts of art supplies - finger paint, chalk, clay, colored pencils, etc. One of her older grandchildren has followed her footsteps into the art world. She helped Mary paint one of Amarillo's quarter horse statues and went on to paint a wonderful mural (Paris themed) in a business while still in high school. Now enrolled at the Savannah College of Art and Design, she is majoring in graphic design with a minor in photography.

The relationship between grandchildren and their grandparents is so different than parent and child. While grandparents don't have the same energy that parents need, they provide a unique wisdom that comes from a lifetime of living. Relationships with grandparents enrich children's lives. 2 Timothy 1:5 "I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also." Parents have so many responsiblities- working, child care, house hold duties, chaueffer service (carting kids to their acitivities) that they are often tired. Grandparents help fill the gaps - not only do they provide care which gives parents a chance to have time for themselves, they also bring their own special talents and abilities that benefit these precious children. Sometimes they provide a special story time, or a special food, or a special hobby. But most important, they provide an unconditional love.

My grandmother played an integral role in my upbringing. She was the one who ironed all my clothes (back when you had to iron clothes). My grandad smoked cigars - so my clothes always had a special smell (that I remember fondly) when they came back. She had a sprinkling jar, sprinkled the clothes, rolled them up, and then ironed them dry. She was there to encourage me. When she broke her hip, I sat at her bedside and we played cards to pass the time. My grandad took me with him to the post office, out to the farm, out to the ranch, taught me to drive, took me fishing. He was special. My dad's mom, my Grandma Marshall - always told me how special I was because I was her only granddaughter.

My mother encouraged my children to be interested in business - probably the reason my son majored in accounting. Henry's parents lived on the lake. Gene took them out on the boat and helped them fish off the dock. There was always ice cream and ice cream cones when we came to visit. Henry's grandmother always had a fresh pumpkin pie ready when we came by to visit her.

I've watched other grandparents: one of my friends has a new grandbaby in Philadelphia. Her husband asked her how often she wanted to go visit - her answer: once a month- his reply: sounds good! Her eyes light up when she talks about that wonderful grandbaby. So she flew from Austin to Philadelphia each month that first year to bond with and enjoy that precious baby.

I dropped by another friend's house just after she had learned the news that she was to become a grandmother for the first time - she was radiant! Several people have held "grandma" camps in the summer where they invite all the kids over (or each family's kids for a week - prolonging the work) for special time to nurture the kids. This can foster relationships between the cousins - or provide special intimate time with just one set of siblings. Another family invited each of their children with their kids to spend a week with them at the Atlanta Olympics (one family group per week). Still another friend made a point of having each grandchild (and she has 9 of them) over one at a time to spend the night and have special time with each one individually.

I have still another friend whose life is filled with animals - horses, dogs, cats. Her grandchildren are learning horsemanship and animal training each time they visit.

Another benefit grandparents play is the role of passing down family history - those wonderful stories of things our ancestors did. I was always so proud of my Great Grandmother Baker who ran her general store well into her 90's. She was an amazing woman with an incredibly strong work ethic.

With people moving all over the country with their jobs, our church has even had a program for surrogate grandparents - allowing the older members to have that vital connection with young children. Spending time with children helps you remember the joy and delight of the everyday things around you. Spending time with older people gives children the opportunity to learn and grow from their wisdom and insight.

Hoorah for grandparents!

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