Early Man - Bannock Point Petroforms

A Post from our Canada trip:

We were driving south from Lake Winnepeg along Highway 307 late in the afternoon, when we noticed a sign along the road for "petroforms." When I read the historical information kiosk a the parking lot, I knew I definitely wanted to take the hike over. Sadly, since it was late in the day, I didn't grab my camera, but I did head off at a brisk pace up the steps, through the forest and up the hill to see what I could see.

We were on the Canadian shield, precambrian rock that is the oldest in the world. While there is forest surrounding the petroforms, there is a big open space at the top of the walk. The sight of old lichen covered bedrock, depressions filled with grass and moss surrounded by the forest rewarded me for the hike uphill to get here.



At first it took some study to find the petroforms, the first ones seemed like random stacking of rocks amidst the moss. However, the more we walked along the bare rock paths, the more we found. Henry joined me and we wandered through the area amazed at the number and the variety of the shapes. Some of them are obviously very old - notice how the lichens and moss surround the rocks with matching lichens.



Henry had brought his small camera along and began photographing as we tried to make sense of who did these shapes and why did they make them. The photos in this post are his!

These petroforms are actually pretty large and are quite varied - snakes, turtles, people, even a newer cross. The initial sign said that the oldest date back 2500 years. I tried to picture people in North America during that era - these are primitive art, but none the less interesting. Were they telling a story? Were they leaving messages for one another perhaps like modern graffiti? Were they nomads who had just come to a new land? From having read so much science fiction - were they trying to signal someone in the sky?



I did some research, it is difficult to make an actual date for these petroforms because there is definitely a large space of time between the oldest through the newest. One dating method, based upon a campsite that was near two small petroforms, suggests 500 AD.

Native people in this area, the Anishinabe (also called Ojibway or Saulteaux) still consider these sites as sacred. They call this area the Manito Ahbee, the place where God sits. They believe that this is the site where the first Anishinabe was lowered from the sky to the ground by the Creator.

As a Christian, what is impressive about this place is that even before the good news of Christ came to this area, the people knew there was a Creator and wanted to communicate with Him. I think modern society often misses the importance of the spiritual elements of the human soul. Too many people have decided there is no God and what we have here in this life is all there is . . . I also believe that if we earnestly seek God, he will reveal Himself to us.

The petroform area fascinated me - I could have spent more time there and would love to have heard an interpreter describe the current ideas about what the individual forms mean.

For more information about the Petroforms and related topics:
From Manitoba's Provincial Park website: Teaching Places, Healing Places: the Petroforms of Manitoba


Wapedia: Wiki:Petroform

GoNanaimo.com Manitoba Bannock Point Petroforms

I also found these two links that relate to the petroforms - the similarity is amazing . . .
Midewewin Stages of Life vs
Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development

Heart of the Healer

The Weeds in my Garden - Part 2

My friend, David who gardens in Zambia wanted to see photos of my garden. I have to confess that my first thought was: "I don't want anyone to see my garden - it is not a showcase, it is not "neat & tidy." Several things made me change my mind. I HAVE worked at weeding my garden. Trust me, without weeding, the entire garden would filled with three or four feet tall Johnson grass. A busy schedule resulted in my first real weeding happening after the Johnson grass had staked its claim on my garden. Over several days, I weeded separate sections and used the hoe to further break up the soil. This gave my garden plants the opportunity to get ahead of the Johnson grass. There were a few areas around the peppers and onions that did not get well weeded and are still somewhat choked, but I worked around the peppers this week. And while I planted onions, spring is not the best time to grow onions in Central Texas. I've harvested a few and I need to check better and get whatever ones actually made onions.

Make no mistake, even though my garden is productive weeds and all, weeds are not a good thing for a garden. Weeds can choke out or shade your valuable vegetables and fruits. Weeds steal water from the ground that your good plants need. Weeds are easier to pull when they are small and the ground is still soft from tilling.

Practical things that I am not good at:

My friend, Debbie Rivas, had a life motto: Do a task while it is still "little." In the best of all worlds, one should spend 30 minutes a day weeding parts of the garden. I confess I get busy doing other things and don't allocate that daily time. And, you have to realize, I have the "hare personality." I work very, very hard at one time on a project and then I rest or go on to another project. "Tortoise personalities" are better at doing a little bit of work every day and keeping tasks small on all their projects. But I've learned that there are advantages to being both the tortoise or the hare. I have learned to accept that I am a hare and to work to make the most of my personality type.

Weeding regularly also helps keep the ground around your valuable plants cultivated and loose so that weeds are easier to pull.

The Spiritual Lesson:


I talked in my last blog about how my life was productive even with the weeds that are part of my life. I also believe that because I am human that my life will always have some weeds in it. My garden can survive with some weeds, but it can't survive if it becomes overrun with weeds. Likewise, I can function in life with some of the weeds, but I must actively pull weeds from my life to keep both my spiritual life and my daily life from being taken over by unprofitable habits and weaknesses. The weeds in my life can fill my time and prevent me from getting the important tasks done. The weeds in my spiritual life can choke out the positive things in life, steal the living water from my heart, and shade me from the Creator's light.

Each era of life has a different set of weeds to deal with. When I was raising my kids, there was the weed of activity. We all want our kids to be involved - church, scouts, sports, music, drama, etc. The needs for each of these good activities are great and the volunteers are few. So one of the weeds for me was saying yes to too many volunteer responsibilities. Possibly, my kids should have been involved in fewer activities, but that is SUCH a hard call when you want them exposed to so many of the good organizations and a positive things for kids.

Another weed in today's society is video games. In and of themselves, they are not bad. Taking time for relaxation and recreation is important. Video games can provide an outlet from our mundane and tiresome tasks. But many games have addictive elements and many people find themselves or their children spending far too much time playing video games instead of exercising their minds, bodies and souls. Time spent on video games robs time from productive daily tasks, time spent growing spiritually, and time doing godly work. If you are a game player, keep a time log for a week. I think you'll be surprised. Or do a video game "fast."

The internet is a wonderful thing. We can keep up with our far away friends, read the latest news, pursue hobbies, educate ourselves or read/write uplifting blogs. There is so much good information to be found on the internet, it is a very useful tool. But . . . we can become news junkies, Facebook junkies, Facebook game junkies, etc. Going through the book, "The Artist's Way," I recently did a week where I did a reading "fast." While I didn't completely abandon the internet, I limited the surfing I usually do each day - news reading, forum reading, blog reading, Facebook, Twitter, etc. It was amazing how much time that freed up to do other creative and productive things.

Conclusions:

I want my life to be productive. I don't want to become a "perfectionist" in any part of my life. I want to accept my own weaknesses and human limitations. But, I also do not want weeds to take over my life and to choke out the good things I can do and should be doing.

Here are some of the products that came from my "weedy" garden. They can survive some of the weeds, but without weeding I would not have:

Yellow Squash:



Bell Pepper


Tomatoes


Watermelon


Green canteloups


Almost ripe canteloup



What are the "weeds" in your life? What are the productive and spiritual things that you want to cultivate?

The Weeds in my Garden

It has been a long time since I've had a garden, but for several reasons I am doing a garden this year. I planted radishes, peppers, tomatoes, onions, yellow squash, green beans, cucumbers, honey dew melons, canteloup, and watermelon. I usually do a pretty thorough job preparing the soil - this year adding a lot of "Back to the Earth" compost when we tilled under the grass. I put in simple furrows and got everything planted. I was blessed with a wet spring and I found a way to automate the watering (which is going to have to be modified now that we are under stage 2 water rationing.)

When I gardened years ago, I remember having great production from my garden plants inspite of the ever present weeds. I always seem to have many projects going on at once, so my time is never completely dedicated to the garden. And we have Johnson grass which can be a royal pain to get rid of. Tilling the soil does not get rid of Johnson grass and the rich watered soil provides a perfect environment for each root segment to sprout grass stems that can get up to 3 or 4 feet tall.

I have done some weeding this year, but the edge around my garden is marked with a tall Johnson grass fence that I kept hoping I would get mowed down. Problem is I have vining plants, so now it is probably impossible to mow without damaging them. The inside of the garden has the weeds a little better under control, but they are still there. A perfectionist gardener would be appalled. After all, weeds take nourishment from the good plants. And, there is an inner voice speaking not so softly into my mind: "A good gardener would have a weed free garden."

Saturday evening I picked 20 yellow squash - some pretty big. Tonight I picked another 11 squash. I'm blanching them and putting them in the freezer because those plants are making squash faster than we can eat them or share them with Jonathan and Debra. I'm getting into the rhythm of preserving - pickling, freezing, making jam (I bought the fruit.) The tomatoes are just beginning to start turning red and we get just enough green beans to either eat or put up a few bags in the freezer. The cucumbers are also going gang busters - I've working on my 3rd batch of sweet pickles. I've made 1 gallon of refrigerator bread and butter pickles and 4 quarts of "hot" dill pickles. I'm hoping to do one batch of the red cinnamon pickles and at least one or two more batches of bread and butter pickles. I'm also hoping to get enough tomatoes to do a bunch of jars of canned tomatoes. The peppers have been slow, but they are beginning to make green bell peppers. The melons all have fruit, but none are ripe yet.

My weedy garden is actually producing quite well. I've been thinking that there are probably several object lessons with this weedy garden. I'm a human being and my spirit has weeds as well - those areas of my life where I'm not perfect, areas of my life where sin is lurking, areas of my life where my habits and routines are poor, and areas of my life that need improvement. And, I believe that no matter how hard I try this will always be the case, because I am a human living in a fallen world.

The weeds in my garden give me hope. God is my master gardener. He knows which weeds really need to come out to keep from choking my spiritual growth and which ones can be removed later. He can fertilize my spiritual soil, loosen the dirt for my roots to grow deeper, and rejoice over the productive things that I am able to accomplish in spite of those pesky, weedy weaknesses. I am an imperfect creature with probably as many internal weeds as my garden has. But I know that God has used me in special ways sometimes because of some of those weeds. I need to use an encouraging voice to myself pointing out those good, successful things that do bear bountiful fruit.

The Artist's Way

I've started working through Julia Cameron's book, The Artist's Way. I'm finding it to be intriguing with ideas worth sharing. As a Christian I'm intrigued at how creativity and spirituality are linked. This dovetails with a study I did long ago about gifts that God gave his people when they were building the tabernacle. From Exodus 35:35: "The Lord has given them special skills as engravers, designers, embroiderers in blue, purple, and scarlet thread on fine linen cloth, and weavers. They excel as craftsmen and as designers. " While this scripture is referring to the builders of God's Tabernacle, I have to believe that God gave us our creative abilities and that he wants us to use them to His glory.

The Bible tells us that we are made in the image of God. Genesis 1:26 "Then God said, Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us." God is the creator of the universe. If we are truly like him, then we have been given the desire to create beautiful and useful things.

As I work through this book over the next few weeks, I'll be sharing things I am finding useful.

From The Artist's Way: Basic Principles:

1. Creativity is the natural order of life. Life is energy: pure creative energy.

2. There is an underlying, in-dwelling creative force infusing all of life - including ourselves.

3. When we open ourselves to our creativity, we open ourselves to the creator's creativity within us and our lives.

4. We are, ourselves, creations. And we, in turn, are meant to continue creativity by being creative ourselves.

5. Creativity is God's gift to us. Using our creativity is our gift back to God.

6. The refusal to be creative is self-will and is counter to our true nature.

7. When we open ourselves to exploring our creativity, we open ourselves to God; good orderly direction.

8. As we open our creative channel to the creator, many gentle but powerful changes are to be expected.

9. It is safe to open ourselves up to greater and greater creativity.

10. Our creative dreams and yearnings come from a divine source. As we move toward our dreams, we move toward our divinity.

Changes in the Wind - a new President

Tuesday is the big day - one of the miracles in our country is that every four years, we, the people, get the chance to choose who will lead our nation. The blessing is that it occurs peacefully with predictability and stability. There are many parts of the world where political change comes abruptly without warning and violently. We may not always like the change, but we know that in four years, we have another opportunity to elect either the same leader or a new one.

When I was in high school, I had a teacher, Mrs. Matherly. She was a democrat, I think she would qualify as a yellow dog democrat - she always voted Democrat. However, once the election was over, whether her candidate won or not, the new president was HER president.

I voted for Obama, the first time that I EVER voted for a Democrat for President. But I have neighbors, friends and family who thought McCain was the better choice. We must remember that we all look at things from different and often equally valid points of view. There is no one "right" way to solve the problems that currently face our nation. Many ideas, many possibilities, many hopes and dreams . . . But regardless of who I voted for . . . I want our new President to be successful, I want him to have a strong presidency, I want him to do good and great things for our country. I am going to be optimistic about the future.

I want to see less partisan politics and more working together for the good of our great country. I want to see statesmanship and wisdom from the President and the members of Congress. 2009 is a year when our economy is fragile and weak, there is a lot of political unrest and instability in important countries around the world. Our leaders are probably going to need to make some tough and unpopular choices to get our economy turned around. I hope that they are strong enough, courageous enough, honest enough, and wise enough to make choices that will in the long term be good for our nation.

The Bible tells us to pray for our leaders. It tells us that ultimately all rulers are put in place by God. Do all world leaders do wonderful, great things . . . no. Do we have men and women who end up in positions of power and authority who use it for evil, yes . . . Do I understand God's plan when I read about the violence, the poverty, and disease that exist around the world . . .no. But I do believe in a God who lives among us - who sees our daily struggles, who is aware of the turmoil in the world, and who does respond when people pray to Him.

So I am going to pray for not only President Obama, but for the Senators and Representatives, the Governors, the rulers overseas. I'm going to pray for wisdom, good judgement, peace, and prosperity for all the political leaders around the world. Then I will trust God both when these politicians do things I approve of and when they make choices that I think are the wrong choices.

Doldrums

According to Wikipedia, Doldrums is a word that comes from an area of the Atlantic Ocean and Pacific Ocean. Interestingly enough the area can have heavy squalls, thunderstorms, and hurricanes as well as the times when the wind disappears altogether. We usually think of weather in the Doldrums as days on end where the sailors were trapped because there was not enough wind to power their sails. When we say we are in the doldrums, we usually are describing states of listlessness, despondency, inactivity, stagnation, or a slump. Writers often talk about "writer's block" that window when the words just won't flow. Psychologists would use the word depression.

A couple of days ago, my chapter from Nancy Rotenberg's book "Photography and the Creative Life" referred to just such a phase in a photographer's life. The main topic for the chapter was "Fear" those things that we allow to discourage our creative pursuits. I was encouraged by these words: "Just knowing that the process of art is cyclical and has a rhythm of ups and downs is reassuring when you hit one of those down times." During those down times, unproductive times, it is so easy to get discouraged, to feel that you are "failing." Nancy prefers to refer to this as "a seasonal interlude - a temporary pause in the flow-a speed bump." She used the season "winter" as a good description - a time when "we're cold and the juices aren't flowing." But I love the rest of this comparison. Winter is a time of dormancy, a preparation in the soil for the next season.

I've been in a winter season. I can list the causes - deaths of friends and family this year, watching the aging process with its ultimate deterioration of mind and body, the need to curtail the extensive travel we've enjoyed, the seemingly long process to become established as a photographer and writer, the large number of tedious tasks that need to be done around the house and yard . . . all of these can rob my creative energy.

If you are in the doldrums right now, I hope these words from Nancy will cheer you as they cheered me:
"Instead of running away from the dark times, give yourself permission to be in winter's shadow. You need to be allowed to feel vulnerable, weak, afraid, and weepy. Ultimately, you want to know who you are and that includes your dark side. It is in that authentic self that you should be living and sharing."

Everyone has cycles of ups and downs, cycles of great productivity and not such productive times, cycles of joy and sorrow, cycles of sickness and health. Ecclesiastes refers to this: "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."

Patience is an important component as we go through these cycles. I find encouragement and wisdom from Nancy's chapter: "Have faith that winter will not go on forever and the energy of spring and growth will soon be with you."

Life Lessons from the Harlequins

When I observe the wonders in God's creation, sometimes I see things that I think I can apply to humans. With the Harlequin ducks several ideas popped into my head. When I first looked for them, I looked in the smoother more tranquil waters. I've been watching a lot of water fowl over the last few years and I generally find them either in lakes or ponds or the smoother waters of the river. Of course, I've also observed the ocean birds swimming right where the waves crash along the rocks and wondered why they weren't pounded to death.

Discovering the Harlequins in some of the most turbulent white water in Yellowstone, I thought about people whose lives are marked by turbulence. Everyone goes through rough periods in their lives. A few people seem to go from one crisis to the next. But these Harlequin ducks not only choose the most turbulent water, they thrive there. They can swim in the rapids, their food source is found at the bottom of this fast flowing water, and the rocks provide a resting place for them. God has equipped them to live in this turbulent environment.

When we go through those turbulent, trying times in our lives, we forget that God has equipped us as well. We see the difficulties, we want to wring our hands, we may see our situation as impossible. Harlequin ducks are small, the water is powerful. How do they have enough strength to fight the force of the water to get their food? God has designed them to live in this environment. Psalms 139 tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made-that God's work is wonderful. Whatever situation we find ourselves in, God has equipped us to handle it. Some of our turbulent times are part of a temptation. In 1 Corinthians 10:13 we are told: "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

Watching the Harlequins as they swam in the strong current and flew upstream, so well equipped for their environment reminded me that God has equipped me for the challenges that I face in life. While most of us prefer to dwell in the calmer, more tranquil streams, there is beauty and power in the turbulent waters. When life is its most difficult, we realize how much we need God and His strength. We also learn the special strengths God has given us to enable us to thrive in our unique environment. And just as he provided large rocks where the harlequins rest, he will provide resting places for us when life tries to wear us down.

Science & Prayer

Having a Bachelor of Science degree from the University of Texas and having attended science fiction conventions all these year, I am well aware of the conflicts between science and religion. After writing and posting last night, I did a google search to find the reference I remembered reading about the scientific studies of prayer and sick patients. I found myself "correcting" my post, because I could not find the study I thought I remembered. Instead, I found hostile articles from atheistic and agnostic scientists.

Christians often leap onto studies that support their beliefs - much to the chagrin and irritation of more empirical researchers. However, I find that these pure scientists also work under assumptions that require faith in their methodology as well. Sometimes I see "science" substituted for faith in God. Scientific theories change over time as new things are learned or found.

As Christians, I think we need to be very careful that we respect the role of science in our world. We need to be accurate when using science in our Christian lessons. Everytime a Christian misuses a scientific study or ridicules science, we put a barrier between scientists and Christ. I do not want to be a stumbling block that prevents someone from meeting Christ. If I am talking with a science oriented person, I need to be careful and talk their "language." I need to be respectful.

I believe that God created the earth. Whether he did it in 6 literal (24 hour) days - or 6 days in God's reckoning is not an issue for me. 2 Peter 3:8 "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day." I believe that God created the natural forces that scientists study. I believe fossil records.

But I also believe that humans are spiritual beings as well as physical. Many of our illnesses occur when we are stressed over the events that happen around us. I like the medical practices that seek to treat the whole person. I think there is much science still has to learn about how the spirit and physical are connected. Many of our alternative medical treatments come from Eastern thinking.

I also found mention of a study on MIT - music, imagery, and touch therapy. Once again this fits in with the Biblical concept of the laying on of hands. And, it is also something that science has a hard time quantifying and measuring.

Both scientists and Christians need to overcome their prejudices so we can learn more about how God set up this glorious world - and how we can live happier, more productive lives in harmony with his plan.

Henry found one study for me - it is unique because it went out and evaluated 17 other scientific studies. I think it interesting as well that it comes from a social work perspective. Anyone who studies psychiatric and social work knows that different people respond very differently to psychological stimulus and treatment.

Our universe is a complex place. Humans are one of the most complex species. I think we need both science and religion.

More thoughts for the day

I ran across this quote today. I would love to live this ideal life. I would love it if everyone that came into contact with me left better and happier. Will that always be possible . . . perhaps not. But I think that finding quotes like this . . . and using them to inspire us to live our lives on a higher plane - brings a richness to our lives. While I am human, and often fail to reach my lofty ambitions, I still think it is better to strive for growth in my spiritual nature, even when I fall short due to my human frailties.

Another quote from Mother Teresa:

Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor... Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting.

Death and Dying

A visitation last night, a funeral today, another church family death last night, and one of my photography friends tragically lost a young adult daughter.

I've lost both my parents and my mother and father-in-law are in their "elderly" years. Those years where health declines - and while it may get "better," better may mean better than the worst, but not as good as before.

The thought crossed my mind that there is a difference between suffering and sorrow.
Suffering occurs when you are ill, feeling pain, hurt. Suffering can be both physical and mental - and sorrow and grief are subsets of suffering.
Sorrow is more mental . . . sadness, grief, a sense of loss - which can be from losing a person in your life, losing a job, changing from one part of life to another - we grieve over many things.

We hate to watch our loved ones suffer - whether from illness or the consequences of poor choices. We grieve when our loved ones pass from this plane of existence to the next. Since it is a one way door, we don't know where they go or what happens next. We only have our faith structure to give us comfort.

I'm Christian . . . so it is of great comfort to me to visualize my loved ones in heaven in the presence of God. I've heard that Christian nurses say that the death of a Christian is so much easier than the death of a non believer. I can believe that because a Christian would not have the fear that death is THE END. Christians have confidence that death is just a transition from the earthly existence to a heavenly one.

But all human spiritual thought - regardless of faith - concludes that humans are more than flesh and blood - that there is a spirit within. While I want to preach Christ and his resurection - I also want to fulfill the exhortation to comfort those who are mourning.

God is bigger than I - God can see with much more clarity than I. While I don't understand why some people die young and others live richly through their old age, I believe that God has a plan for each one of us. And that plan includes our birth, our parents, our genetics, the chance events, the joys, the sorrows, the suffering, and finally our deaths. I believe that God is faithful - and that he will provide a beautiful existence for those that go on before us to the heavenly realms and that He will also provide comfort and peace to those of us left mourning here on earth.

Life Lessons from a Riverboat

I like to spend time outside in contemplation or meditation. At home, my time is usually in the mornings on my front porch. On this trip, there has not been much time to feed that inner spirit. While we've been at a wonderfully quiet spot on the Mississippi River, the weather has been damp, cold, and sometimes rainy. Plus, I had a major project going on. Once we got settled in at the campground, I started getting 20 photos ready to be uploaded at a new stock agency for me. Everything had to be resized, uploaded via ftp and then keyworded and described on the site. Upsizing is easy, but you have "wait" time while the program does its thing. Entering titles, descriptions, keywords, etc is time consuming. They had requested a first submission of 20 images, so that is what I've spent the last two days doing. To complicate matters, my keyboard has a glitch. It started before the trip. We put it in the shop, got it back . . . . just a few days later it is not fixed. Sometimes all the keys work and sometimes they don't. I've gotten really good at typing using a Keyboard viewer and my touch pad. But it is slow. And then at other times, my keyboard works normally (like right now.)

So . . . I've been at this lovely, peaceful, tranquil, riverside campground, working like crazy. We've seen a few riverboats go by and I stopped and enjoyed each one. We've heard owls in the woods every night. We've watched the antics of the great blue herons that fish the river. We've even seen a beaver. But I felt like I had not had time to "enjoy" these things. I was enjoying them, yes, but I had not had time to savor it . . .so to speak.

So this evening, I had my photos uploaded, my email from the website with approval wordings on it (and I really like that I have someone who gives me feedback and information directly - with Alamy I usually feel like I am working in the dark.) So tonight I can relax.

I was planning to go outside and sit at the picnic table by the river and hope for owl calls. I took Henry's night vision binoculars to see if I could see anything (well, I was not good at focusing them . . . figured that out, but did not really see much with them) Then I looked downstream and realized that I was seeing the sweeping lights of a river boat heading upstream. Oh Boy!!!!!! I could sit and watch this one with my undivided attention. (Needless to say, small things sometimes please me greatly!) So I sat down to enjoy the experience and give it my full attention.

Now when I first saw the lights, they were very dim and in the distance, around the curve of the island . . . . . . . I'm thinking now that riverboat was probably 10 miles away when I first realized it was coming. Earlier today, we did some calculations . . . . riverboats travel less than 7 miles per hour . . . . This one was not going 7 miles per hour in the dark.

I sat at the picnic table and listened to the night sounds. I was soaking up that serenity I had been missing. I could hear the frogs and crickets in the forest behind me. I could hear the small fish splashing as they lept out of the water. I could hear the squaks of the herons as the noise in the distance and the lights in the distance disturbed their sleep. (The riverboat is still a long way away . . . . )

I could hear the owls . . . I was hoping I would get to hear the owl calls tonight. Sometimes they are loud and nearby, other times they are soft and far away. I think we've heard two species . . . I need to go online and listen to owl calls. One sounds like a barred owl. We heard those on the Owl Prowl and Froggy Frolic I went on during the summer. So I think one was a barred owl. The call we heard last night was very different. It was much more of a howl. I'm thinking either screech owl or perhaps even a bobcat. Yes, I need to listen to bird calls while the sounds are fresh in my memory.

While enjoying the night sounds around me, I keep watching downstream as the boat makes its way up the river. This is a SLOW boat. I'm sure the daytime boats went faster. (7 miles an hour is faster?????) The boat has made it past the curve around the island. I can see the spotlight. Sometimes it sweeps the area where I am sitting and the trees on the bank of the slough by the campground. At first the light is faint as it illuminated the trees. As time passes, the light gets brighter. I can see the spotlights well . . . . I don't see barges in front of the spot lights . . . .hum . . . . this is taking a LONG time . . . .maybe it is not barges, maybe it is a dredge . . . . hum . . . . it is slow . . . . . .

The night barges have two big spot lights. Have I mentioned they are BRIGHT spot lights. Your eyes have gotten used to the dark, you are looking toward the boat as it shines the light on the far bank . . . . the light swings in your direction . . . .your eyes don't move fast enough . . . . you can actually see your iris close to block out that painfully bright light. After a couple of times, I tried to avoid this experience. Hands work well as a shade.

Did I mention that the boat is still not here yet?????

I am truly enjoying sitting at the picnic enjoying this evening and waiting for the boat. I am NOT going in until the boat passes. But I am gettng chilly, so I went in and got my coat.

The nice thing about contemplation time is that your mind has time to process things. As I wait for this VERY slow boat, I think about what the captain of this boat is dealing with. It is dark out here. While there are some very small, dim flashing lights (miniature light houses-not bright) along the shore every couple of miles, there is virtually no light to guide him along the river. Nothing like the street lights on metropolitan interstates. Only the big spotlights on the top of the boat. The barges are very long in front of him (5 barges long, 3 barges wide-that is probably 250 feet of barge in front of him in the dark). . . at night he only has a very small flashing red light to tell him where the front of the boat is. There are buoys in the river to mark the channel. They are not lit. The captain must find them with his spotlight. He also must trust that whoever placed the buoys knew what they were doing. He must also trust that there are no new sand bars. It is dark, he can't see any new sandbars.

There is a pattern to the movement of the lights. Sometimes the lights swing from side to side checking where the river bank and landmarks may be. Sometimes, the lights are aimed dead straight ahead where the channel buoys are illuminated. Sometimes the captain keeps the lights in one position for a long time. If you think it is safe to look at the boat . . . . oops that light got you in the eyes again, yes, I AM seeing my iris close in a amazing flash of yellow and black, yes, that hurts. Yes, let's not do that again!

The boat is actually much closer now. Yes, there really are barges in front of it. Yes, it really is the same size as the ones during the day. With the boat this close, the spotlights are truly blinding. The captain may see Henry and me, he certainly leaves the spotlight on us for several moments. It is very bright, indescribably bright, MUCH brighter than the streetlights on the highways, almost like the worklights they use in highway construction at night, or Hollywood production night lights. And there are only two of them.

It is only after the boat has passed you that you can see the spotlight on the nested covers to the barges. When the barge is even with you, it appears to be going faster. It is an illusion. You can hear the engine noises a longer distance when the boat is downstream - some acoustic thing-perhaps the island and trees channel the sound better in that direction. But when the boat is near you, the engine is loud. A very rhythmic loud. Rum, rum, rum, rum, rum, deep tones,

As the boat passes, I appreciate the beauty of the side lights and their reflection on the water. Since the covers are folded up, and the barges seem to be riding low in the water, I wonder if this is carrying coal. I can't see the cargo or even the barges well enough to really know how they are riding in the water. But my mind wants to make sense of this. The barges going upstream this morning were coal barges. Grain barges would be covered.

When I was waiting for the barge to make its way tediously up the river, my contemplation headed in spiritual realms. The night is dark, sometimes our lives are lived in darkness, away from God's light. God's light is bright, it can be seen from far away, much as the riverboat's bright light could be seen coming even when it was 10 or more miles away. If we look for that light, we can see it coming. I was looking in the night and saw the distant light because I was outside taking in my surroundings. As the boat captain must trust the buoys for guidance, I also must trust the markers God puts in my path to guide me through life, as the riverboat captain trusts the buoys and lights. The riverboat captain has a detailed map of the river. As a Christian, I have the Bible as a written guide to help me navigate through the challenges of life.

Patience. When we travel around the country in our RV, we usually go 55-70 miles an hour. This riverboat is going less than 7 miles per hour. Folks, this is slow. A riverboat captain must have patience. He really will get to his destination. But it won't be fast. What does he do to keep his mind occupied? How does he keep his concentration on the dimly lit buoy's, especially in the dead of night. Sometimes as we journey through our lives,it feels like we are going painfully slow, just like these riverboats. But the riverboats must go slow. They are pushing many tons of cargo in these long barges-usually 15 lashed together. Each barge would hold the contents of perhaps 10-15 tractor trailer rigs. The riverboat captain knows he will get to his destination eventually. When my life is going painfully slow toward my goal, I must remember that with God as my captain, I will get to his goal for me.

Sometimes, I wonder if the time I spend enjoying, contemplating, meditating on my surroundings is wasted. From the time I first saw the distant dim light until the riverboat finally passed by was probably 1 1/2 hours. I experienced the mystery and wonder of the life around the river, I felt the cool gentle air, and I gained another object lesson for Christian living.

Wasted time . . . . . . I don't think so.

Oasis

America has a culture of productiveness. We value ourselves by what we accomplish. "Busy-ness" is part of our culture. Many things compete for our time.

My life has always had its hectic times. Currently trying to juggle starting a photography enterprise, the care for aging and ill relatives, finishing a Bible study book, and trying to attain and keep order in my home compete for my time. Stress is unavoidable.

But today, I have arrived at a life oasis. I left yesterday for the traditional birthday celebration with two of my closest friends. We are in Salado at a wonderful bed and breakfast on the creek.


This morning I got to spend time by the creek. Herons fished, birds sang, and little fish jumped out of the water. I closed my eyes for a different form of meditation and I felt the cool breeze on my face and even caught a whiff of the gentle smell of the creek.

My reading in my abundance book today:
"Take time to pamper yourself. This is especially important if you spend a great deal of time nurturing others. Your well will run dry if you don't give yourself permission to fill it. Your body needs rest."

I will have two days here in Salado. Time to sit by the creek, soak in the serenity, and center myself. A time to think of other things besides the things that are worthy of grief in my life right now.

Yes, I brought my computer and hard drive so that if I have some time, I can be "productive" while I am here.

But more important, is to fill the cups of serentity and peace - so that I will be ready to return both home and to Amarillo, re-equpped for the tasks God has laid out for me.

Bluebirds

I went to bed tired last night and woke up tired. After hot tubbing and getting dressed for the day, I decided to have a more substantial breakfast (still staying on the low carb diet). I also wanted to spend time outside this morning, so I took my breakfast, a cup of hot tea, binoculars to watch the birds, and my morning devotional materials.

Yesterday I had been some birds along the fenceline that I wanted to identify. One of them had come up near the house. I've been hoping for bluebirds and this one had blue coloration, but not that of a bluebird. After consulting the bird books yesterday, my best guess was that this one was a female bunting of some sort. It had definitely done bunting behaviors in the grass by the fence.

This morning, I had my binoculars ready. When I looked at the bird perched on the fence, I was SO excited. It WAS an eastern bluebird!!!!!!!!!!

Now you may ask, why did that make me so excited?????? I've had bird feeders out now for several years - I have the tall cylinders of bird seed that last several weeks. I have a bird feeder with both seed and suet. There is a ground feeder out in the yard. But last spring, I had seen some info on bluebirds and we put out two blue bird houses. I did see a sparrow come out of one of them last year, but otherwise they had been pretty unoccupied. I had put out a little of the suet snacks that are supposed to attract bluebirds . . . but they just went stale in the sun.

But now I have a real bluebird in the yard!!!!!!!! On today's agenda is to go get the mealy worms and a new package of suet treats!

And my scripture for today:
He will be like rain falling on a mown field, like showers watering the earth.

God's provision . . . . . . seeing the bluebird has cheered me up and helped get me going today!

Words from the Father

When I take time to spend time in God's word, I often find that the scriptures or study books that I am using often parallel what is currently going on in my life. With Gene going through the final stages of the aging process, my scripture reading jumped out at me today:

From Psalm 71
Be my rock of refuge to which I can always go . . . .
Do not cast me away when I am old;
do not forsake me when my strength is gone . . . .
Be not far from me, O God . . . .
Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God . . . .
Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
From the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.

Such a wonderful reminder of the new life we have waiting for us beyond the grave.

Death and Dying

I can say I have good news about Gene for the moment. After a very scary day Sunday where he was SO helpless, Monday he rebounded. From being hardly able to reposition himself in a chair, he is back to walking easily, to being alert, and able to do some care for himself. Such dramatic changes occurred over just a four day time frame. From being good, to being very ill and incapacitated, to being good again.

I try to read from scripture on a regular basis. It is especially helpful when life crisis occur. My readings over the last few days have certainly been relevant. On March 25, my reading from Psalms 68 led my focus to God's goodness: father to the fatherless, defender of widows, setting the lonely in families, leading forth prisoners with singing, and giving abundant showers, refreshing a weary inheritance. This was Saturday, Gene was home from the hospital, walking was tortuous. How could I see God's goodness in this situation? As I reflected and struggled with this concept, the thoughts came in my mind, that Gene is already on the road through the valley of the shadow of death. That this life struggle is really just the means God is using to transport Gene to the place that Jesus has prepared for him. My sister-in-law reminded me that our arrival into this world as babies requires a painful and traumatic struggle through a small birth canal. While I don't fully understand why some people go quickly and relatively painlessly through death and others have sometimes years of illness and struggle, I do believe that God appointed our time of birth and death before we were ever born. As humans, God gave us a strong desire to live. So many people live longer than we expect in their final stretch of life because of that strong will to live - whether it be to a desire not to desert loved ones or an actual fear of dying. Sometimes it is the family's prayers that keep someone alive, until it finally becomes apparent that it is time for the suffering to end. Both the dying person and the family have to come to a point where it is time to let go.

Yesterday's scripture read before I saw how well Gene was doing seemed so appropriate to our situation. From Psalm 69:

Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck,
I sink in the miry depths,
where there is not foothold.
I have come into the deep waters,
the floods engulf me.
I am worn out calling for help,
my throat is parched.
. . . . . . .
But I pray to you, O Lord, in the time of your favor;
in your great love, O God, answer me up with your sure salvation,
Rescue me from the mire,
do not let me sink,
. . . . . . . .
Do not let the floodwaters engulf me
or the depths swallow me up
or the pit close its mouth over me.
Answer me, O Lord, out of the goodness of your love;
In your great mercy turn to me.
Do not hide your face from your servant;
Answer me quickly, for I am in trouble,
Come near and rescue me.

From Sunday's reading:
Praise be to the Lord, to God our Saviour, who daily bears our burdens.

And today's reading????
Words of praise also from Psalm 69
I will praise God's name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving
. . . . . .
Let heaven and earth praise Him, the seas and all that move in them.
for God will save Zion and rebuild the cities of Judah.
Then people will settle there and possess it;
the children of his servants will inherit it,
and those who love his name will dwell there.

How can one not be encouraged by these words from God, even in the midst of the pain of losing a loved one?
In many things over the last few days, God has sent things to bring joy and peace in the midst of the grief.
Yes . . . . . God is good!

Today . . . . .

Let me say upfront, I am not usually good with things that require daily disciplines - I am too easily distracted and usually have many things or projects going on in my life. But a practice that I try to keep going, however irregularly, is a "quiet" time with God. As part of that time, I have a journal. When I browse through the pages and realize how irratic it is . . . . I grimace inwardly.

The Bible I use with my daily time is a One Year Bible with scriptures set up to read an Old Testament passage, a New Testament passage, a Psalms passage, and a verse or two from Proverbs. I started in January trying to read all of them in the hope that I would make it through the entire Bible this year. I found, however, that I was just reading it - without having time to contemplate on the meaning for me, today, at this point in my life. So, I've gone back to reading the Psalm passage for a given day. If a miss a few days, I go ahead and read the passage for today's date. I start with the Psalm - and if I find meaning for my life, I may highlight or underline the verses that resonated with me. Because I've been doing this several years - coming back to a marked passage usually reinforces what had special meaning for me.

On a few rare days, the Psalms passage does not have a verse or two that jumps out at me - so I search in the other passages for the day. Generally, I find something on which to focus my thoughts. Today was a day when nothing in the daily passages really leaped out at me, leaving me searching through other back-up resources. My book on Abundance is one that I added yesterday for further enrichment. But today I was still searching . . . . I thumbed back through my journal, happy that over the last several months, I have more entries and more pages, a hint of a little more consistancy. But then I found the thoughts that resonated . . . for today. I found them in prior pages in my journal from perhaps a couple of years ago. Sometimes I note where I found what I journaled - this time I don't know whether I was writing from a source material, or if these were my own thoughts. But they were encouraging to me, and I am posting them here, because I think they might be helpful to others:

Each day is a new beginning, an unwritten page, a clean slate, unspoiled.
Nothing that happened in the past can be changed.
In God's book, it is in the past, forgiven, forgotten.
The past should not be allowed to spoil a new day.
Each day brings new opportunities.
Each day should start with joy:
"I am ALIVE!"
"I have a chance to make today beautiful!"

While there may be times when I need to bring out something ugly from the past to examine it or to understand it, for today, I will keep it in a mental "box" - so that I can enjoy the present.

Today I will look for beauty.
Today I will spend time with God
Today I will be joyful.
Today I will be optimistic - not letting little things obscure the big picture.
Today I will be courageous, trusting God to meet my needs and protect me.

Abundance

It is so easy to get frustrated and worried when you don't see immediate solutions to life's daily challenges. But abundant living through God's provision is a solid Biblical concept. My morning's devotional from "The Art of Abundance" by Candy Paull reflected living life with that faith and hope that God IS going to provide the things we need. We put away our fear and open our lives and hearts up each day to experience God's gifts for today.

At the macro workshop, Nancy Rotenberg , made a comment that really spoke to me of abundance. Instead of previsualizing her shots for a day, she goes out and sees what shows up. She said that it was her experience that if you went out and waited, something usually presented itself as a photographic opportunity.

Today is a day that I need to get one or maybe two submissions out the door and in the mail. I have asked God to help me get past my fears - both known and hidden- and to help me experience the gift of His abundance in my life today.

Morning Flight

It was a beautiful morning to be flying at dawn.

God's Time

As humans, we measure time in seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years. We usually have time estimates as to how long a given task will take. When we get ill, one of our first questions to our doctor is usually how soon will I be well and functioning normally.

Life itself presents many challenges to us as we live it day to day.

As kids, we can hardly wait get our first bicycle, go to school, finish high school etc.

As parents, it is so easy to think such things as:

"I will be SO glad when we are out of diapers."
"I'll be SO glad when he can use words to TELL me what is wrong."
"I'll be so glad when I'm out of college and have a real job."

Today at church one of our families asked us to pray for a crisis situation with their fourteen year old grandson. For many families, teenage years can be rough years. Between individual internal biochemistry issues, emotional problems, puberty, and the need to become independent and individual from parents, this time frame leaves a lot of wounds. One of our favorite words of comfort to people going through such rough times is often: "God's time is not our time."

I was thinking about that today as I was driving in the car. A word picture of this came into my mind. My grandfather bought a farm and farmed it while I was small. We still own that farm and most visits home to my family included a trip to check on the farm and crops. In addition, when the kids were young, I had many vegetable gardens and I planted fruit trees and grapevines.

When you are planting radishes, it takes about three weeks from planting to harvest.
When you are planting corn, wheat, and milo, it takes four to six months from planting to harvest.
When you are planting fruit trees, depending on the size tree you buy, you are looking at getting your "first fruits" in 3-5 years- and several more before it becomes a bountiful harvest.
When you are planting pecan trees, it generally takes 10 years or more (our pecan trees took over 15 years before they started producing.)
The "farmers" who plant forests for lumber are looking ahead 20 years for a harvest of the seedlings they are planting.
Saguaro cactus don't reach "maturity" for 100 years.
Redwoods and sequoia trees live for thousands of years.

So often as we go through the teenage years, the early adult years, we expect God's answers to our prayers to be immediately answered. Human hearts and psychology are very intricate. Even with God's great and almighty power, the best answers to our prayers for human growth and development take years of cultivation, water, and nuture to bear fruit.

So next time you are wrestling with one of life's difficult human challenges - are you really looking for a "radish"? God is looking to create the beauty of a forest, or a tall saguaro, or the stately grace of the redwoods and sequoia trees. Jesus told us about the lily that toiled not, neither did it spin, yet it was beautifully arrayed. Are we not more important to God? While my human desires and lack of patience want a speedy resolution, I've learned that waiting for God's longer more well thought out answer always gives me special blessings and usually an answer beyond anything I could have thought up for myself.

One month later

I have learned in my life that when you have a major stressful event happen in your life, it is usually accompanied by other stressful events. The fire was traumatic in many ways. Watching a marriage unravel is also very stressful. Even saying goodbye to a car was more painful than I expected. Having a friend fighting cancer also adds to the emotional mix. The month of August was a time when I did not push very hard. I stayed with my diet and exercise plan and let the month drift by. My sleep schedule was definitely disrupted - I found myself waking up way too early or staying up way too late. The first of September is here - and God has used time to bring some rest and healing for me. I find myself getting more done and a sense of peace is returning to my soul. And, after a plateau, my weight is going down again. I am ready to share again.