The Road

I have a friend that is inspiring me right now. She is facing a potentially difficult stretch of life due to illness. She is viewing this as an adventure and a road - a road less travelled.

Isaiah 57:14
And it will be said:
"Build up, build up, prepare the road!
Remove the obstacles out of the way of my people."

As I thought about this passage, several thoughts have flitted through my head.

We are all on a journey through life. God is already in front of us, building up our road, preparing it for us to travel on to our various destinations. We each have our own, individual road. While our ultimate destination is heaven, our short term destinations will be unique from one person to another.

We all will deal with obstacles as we travel the road of life - disappointments, illness, people who let us down, dreams that seem to go unrealized, difficult people, physical limitations, even aging. We have some choices as to how we will react when we encounter our obstacles. Will we give up and quit - not reaching our destination? Will we find a way to go around the obstacle or destroy the obstacle? Will it be an obstacle that we must wait patiently in expectation for God to remove?

I found myself encouraged with this concept of God removing the obstacles out of the way of his people. It gives me confidence to keep patiently walking the pathway that God has set before me, knowing He will guide me to the destination he has planned specially for me.

Blessings

As I've been reading my daily psalms recently, I've found several that have beautiful blessings. I often use the psalms or other scriptures as a basis for prayer.

Here are two that I encouraged me recently:

Psalms 122:6-9
May those who love you be secure
May there be peace within your walls and security within your citadels
For the sake of my brothers and friends, I will say, "Peace be with you."
For the sake of the house of the Lord our God,
I will seek your prosperity.

Psalms 128
Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in his ways.
You will eat the fruit of your labor;
Blessings and prosperity will be yours.
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house;
Your sons will be like olive shoots around your table.
Thus is the man blessed who fears the Lord.
May the Lord bless you from Zion all the days of your life
May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem,
and may you live to see your children's children.
Peace be upon Israel.

When I think on these beautiful blessings, I find it useful to make them more meaningful in my prayers by substituting my family's names or my city or country.
For example:
May I see the prosperity of my country and prosperity for the world. . . Peace be upon the world!

May those who love me be secure: my mother-in-law, my children, my friends, etc.

I wish these beautiful blessings on all my readers today.

Mother Teresa's Private Letters

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

James 2:18 Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.

Contradiction or one of God's mysterious sets of truth?

Mother Teresa was an extraordinary woman. After years spent teaching, she found her true work at age 38 in the slums of Calcutta. Most of us have read some of her beautiful, inspirational quotes. We certainly admire the dedication and the success of her work in India. So the publication of her private letters of her times of darkest doubts and the struggles with her faith seem so contradictory to her public profile. How do we reconcile these dark, tormented, hidden feelings with her public persona of trusting faith?

I wish this had come out at a time when I had more time to contemplate this disonance. But preparations for Africa - the have to do to do lists are very loud in my mind. But if I wait a month, this is old news - perhaps the links will be gone.

Jesus had a parable about 2 sons - when asked to do a task - one son said - sure . . .and then did not do it. The other complained but in the end did the work requested. Certainly Jesus also rebuked the religious leaders of the day who did their work not out of love in their hearts but because of ritual and duty.

Everyone goes through periods of doubt and disbelief - times when it seems that God is not answering our prayers, times when God seems far far away. Some people would say that during those times when our heart is not in our "works" that it is hypocritical to continue those good works and ritual worship. On the other hand, from Mother Teresa's story - hers is a story of faith in action - even when she had her darkest, deepest, tormented doubts, she remained faithful. She continued the task that she believed God had given her.

All of us are imperfect lumps of clay. But I think we can learn from Mother Teresa's life how God can use us even when we lack faith, when our inner faith is as small as a tiny mustard seed. Somehow God put something into Mother Teresa's heart that kept her in ministry, kept her putting one foot in front of another, and provided her with words of inspiration that will be passed on to future generations of believers.

I think it encourages us to keep on being "faithful" even when it seems we are just going through the motions. Somehow, through some miracle, God can take those seemingly puny efforts, and make something very beautiful and long lasting.


Mother' Teresa's letters

Mother Teresa's beautiful words of faith

Prayer Requests

As one marches through life's journey through time, the road leads us many places. We can't stop the march, we pass minute to minute, day to day, month to month, and year to year. While my memory of where I put something in the last day or two may be quite unreliable, I have many childhood memories. It is hard for me to realize that those memories are of life in the 1950's.
I'm the same person, I still look at the world through the same eyes, I still enjoy many of the same things. I still have a sense of adventure - wanting to see new things, meet new people, go new places. But . . . reality . . . I AM getting older. I don't move as fast, I get tired easily, my knees periodically protest my activities.

But as I go along with this journey through time, I've watched good things, bad things, sad things, happy things - life is a mix of sweet, sour, salty, bitter events going on around us.

RIght now, I've got several friends and family who are going through rough patches in time - cancer, hospital stays, respiratory or cardiac issues, early Alzenheimers, difficulties with grown children, money problems and just the routine issues of getting old.

Two close friends are in the hospital today, another close friend lost her uncle last night after losing her mom a couple of months ago, two other friends have recently been diagnosed with cancer, . . .

We're scheduled to leave town in the morning. I won't be here to give moral support up close and personal to the friends in the hospitals and their families. This grieves me a little. But I have called and emailed others who would want to know, and I have included requests for their prayers. I will try to keep up with how both of these friends are doing. I am grateful for how easy it is to get in touch with people with cell phones no matter where we are traveling in the States.

I am so glad that God, our Father, cares for us. I am so glad we can go before Him and bring Him our concerns, our worry, our anxiety, and our fears. I know that in his own amazing way, each one of these people will feel His presence in their lives.

I suspect that many of you have things going on in your life, or in the lives of your friends and family. So . . . as you finish reading this blog, send up a request to God to be active in all the lives represented by the readers here. Know that as you are praying for people here, others are praying for you and your difficulties, illnesses, and life challenges.

When you finish, remember Phillipians 4 Rejoice in the Lord aways, I will say it again, Rejoice! . . . Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. . . And the God of peace will be with you.

I am praying in special ways for my friends tonight - and I'm praying for you that this Phillipians scripture will come alive for you when you read it today, and that God will meet your special needs in a very special way.

Peace!

In Memory

Sometimes events happen very quickly. I've had a pretty good day today - I got up really early, did my "morning things," sat on the porch, had lunch with my friend, Bettye, ran a couple of errands, etc. I'd had a pretty good day. I knew I needed to get back to my exercise program at Curves. I went in, started my workout . . . made it about 1/3 of the way around the circuit . . . and then . . . I saw the sign . . . the memorial fund for Julie . . .

My heart cried, "OH NO!" Julie is young, vibrant, cheerful . . . How can she be gone? Now I understood Michelle's face. She's lost her sister.

Now, I like all the people who work at my Curves. They are each unique, wonderful individuals. I would be this bummed if it had been any of them. But . . . but . . . I have good memories of Julie.

She always greeted me cheerfully and took a genuine interest in me and my daughter. She always wore a big smile. I enjoyed hearing about her kids and their activities.

Death . . .

I'm human. I don't like death . . . .

As Christians we know that death is just a pathway to a new life. Jesus told his disciples he was going to build mansions for them. Revelations tells us about the beauty of heaven. I Thessalonians 4 tells us "We believe that Jesus died and rose and again. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him . . . . we will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air."

I believe in the resurrection . . . I believe in life after death . . . I believe that those who have died go on to a better place because of Jesus love, his death, and resurrection.

But . . .

For those of us left behind, we celebrate a life, we celebrate God's love . . . but we also grieve the loss of someone we know, someone we love, someone we will miss. We cry with the closest family friends, because we know how deep their pain is at the loss of a loved one. And when someone young dies, there is the additional grief at a life cut short - a different feeling from when an older person dies who has lived a long and full life. We grieve for what might have been.

For me, I have this death echoes. Henry's parents are aging, my parents and grandparents are already dead. And I have a close friend battling cancer. Death is too near . . .

God gave us a strong desire to live - we fight for our lives . . . but in the end . . . we will all meet death . . . .

And somehow through it all . . . God is truly good. In ways that I cannot explain or even understand, he comforts those who are grieving. If we are looking . . . he sends us something to be grateful for every day.

Join me in prayer for Julie's family - her husband, her children, her parents, her sister, her extended family and friends. It has been a month since she departed this earth, but her family is still hurting. May they feel God's love, comfort, and presence each day!

Life Lessons from the Harlequins

When I observe the wonders in God's creation, sometimes I see things that I think I can apply to humans. With the Harlequin ducks several ideas popped into my head. When I first looked for them, I looked in the smoother more tranquil waters. I've been watching a lot of water fowl over the last few years and I generally find them either in lakes or ponds or the smoother waters of the river. Of course, I've also observed the ocean birds swimming right where the waves crash along the rocks and wondered why they weren't pounded to death.

Discovering the Harlequins in some of the most turbulent white water in Yellowstone, I thought about people whose lives are marked by turbulence. Everyone goes through rough periods in their lives. A few people seem to go from one crisis to the next. But these Harlequin ducks not only choose the most turbulent water, they thrive there. They can swim in the rapids, their food source is found at the bottom of this fast flowing water, and the rocks provide a resting place for them. God has equipped them to live in this turbulent environment.

When we go through those turbulent, trying times in our lives, we forget that God has equipped us as well. We see the difficulties, we want to wring our hands, we may see our situation as impossible. Harlequin ducks are small, the water is powerful. How do they have enough strength to fight the force of the water to get their food? God has designed them to live in this environment. Psalms 139 tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made-that God's work is wonderful. Whatever situation we find ourselves in, God has equipped us to handle it. Some of our turbulent times are part of a temptation. In 1 Corinthians 10:13 we are told: "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

Watching the Harlequins as they swam in the strong current and flew upstream, so well equipped for their environment reminded me that God has equipped me for the challenges that I face in life. While most of us prefer to dwell in the calmer, more tranquil streams, there is beauty and power in the turbulent waters. When life is its most difficult, we realize how much we need God and His strength. We also learn the special strengths God has given us to enable us to thrive in our unique environment. And just as he provided large rocks where the harlequins rest, he will provide resting places for us when life tries to wear us down.

Change

From my "Grace Notes" by Alexandra Stoddard, today's topic was change.

"Behind seeming permanence lies constant flux. Heraclitus

You are changing and everyone around you is changing. THe rate of change differs, accept that.

**************

Back when I first married, I remember my mother-in-law talking about change. Her youngest two children married within 6 weeks of each other. Her father died right after the second wedding. It was not too long after that her mother-in-law moved in with them. She said that one thing about life was that things were always changing. You go from childhood, get married, have children, children grow up, you have grandchildren, friends and family die.

Being in Amarillo, I can look back and see how many things have changed since I got married and left home 36 years ago. We used to come to Amarillo and it took a full two days of making the rounds to see all the family. My grandparents were alive, Henry's grandmothers were alive, we had Henry's aunt and uncle to visit. While many of that set are gone, we have new ones to take their place. My nieces both have husbands and children now. My children are grown with households of their own.

While I'm still Mary Ann, I'm probably a different Mary Ann than I was all those years ago. I have wonderful memories not only of my family that are now gone, but also of the trips we took, the activities of my children. When I was a young adult, I taught children at every church we attended. While I have taught children at Brentwood, most of my teaching has been geared to adult women. I'm still active physically, but some things are harder due to injuries from the past. I still get where I want to go, I still hike, but I'm a lot slower than I once was.

My perspective on life is different. My those parents of those babies look young, but I was that young, once. The senior citizens don't look nearly as old . . . I see the changes in my friend's faces, especially ones I have not seen in a while. Aging is no respecter of persons. We march through life, we unsucessfully try to drag our feet and slow the aging process down. We exercise, we watch our diets, we work puzzles . . . all in hopes of keeping our bodies and minds fit in our "old age."

But, old age sneaks up on us. My inlaws marvel sometimes about having lived as long as they have. Time goes by quickly.

Change is part of life. Nothing is constant. No . . . that is not quite true. God is constant. And he walks with us throughout all the changes - both good and bad - that come as we go through our lives.

Ecclesiastes talks about there being a time for everything under heaven. Change is one of those constants. Sometimes it is good - like the Texas weather, if you don't like it, wait awhile and it will change.

Sometimes we need to accept the inevitable changes, sometimes we need to fight them. And yes, we need wisdom to know when to accept and when to fight.

But, when change is inevitable, embrace it, accept it, and find ways to rejoice in it.

A Church Home

We had the blessing of taking both my inlaws in to church this morning. Due to ill health and the natural concerns about getting out in cold weather, they had not been going as regularly as they did in the past. But what a greeting they received this morning. As people saw them, they came from all over the auditorium to greet them literally with hugs and kisses. As she visited with her friends, my mother-in-law's face was the brightest and happiest I've seen it in a long time.

Having lived a long life, we've had several church homes, but I have permanent friends from all of them. These are people that you can go years without seeing and pick up right where you left off. These are people who are there for you when times are rough. And it is reciprocal, we are there for them when life's storm clouds hit.

Most of my closest friends come from the congregations we've been apart of. They are priceless in my life.

Science & Prayer

Having a Bachelor of Science degree from the University of Texas and having attended science fiction conventions all these year, I am well aware of the conflicts between science and religion. After writing and posting last night, I did a google search to find the reference I remembered reading about the scientific studies of prayer and sick patients. I found myself "correcting" my post, because I could not find the study I thought I remembered. Instead, I found hostile articles from atheistic and agnostic scientists.

Christians often leap onto studies that support their beliefs - much to the chagrin and irritation of more empirical researchers. However, I find that these pure scientists also work under assumptions that require faith in their methodology as well. Sometimes I see "science" substituted for faith in God. Scientific theories change over time as new things are learned or found.

As Christians, I think we need to be very careful that we respect the role of science in our world. We need to be accurate when using science in our Christian lessons. Everytime a Christian misuses a scientific study or ridicules science, we put a barrier between scientists and Christ. I do not want to be a stumbling block that prevents someone from meeting Christ. If I am talking with a science oriented person, I need to be careful and talk their "language." I need to be respectful.

I believe that God created the earth. Whether he did it in 6 literal (24 hour) days - or 6 days in God's reckoning is not an issue for me. 2 Peter 3:8 "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day." I believe that God created the natural forces that scientists study. I believe fossil records.

But I also believe that humans are spiritual beings as well as physical. Many of our illnesses occur when we are stressed over the events that happen around us. I like the medical practices that seek to treat the whole person. I think there is much science still has to learn about how the spirit and physical are connected. Many of our alternative medical treatments come from Eastern thinking.

I also found mention of a study on MIT - music, imagery, and touch therapy. Once again this fits in with the Biblical concept of the laying on of hands. And, it is also something that science has a hard time quantifying and measuring.

Both scientists and Christians need to overcome their prejudices so we can learn more about how God set up this glorious world - and how we can live happier, more productive lives in harmony with his plan.

Henry found one study for me - it is unique because it went out and evaluated 17 other scientific studies. I think it interesting as well that it comes from a social work perspective. Anyone who studies psychiatric and social work knows that different people respond very differently to psychological stimulus and treatment.

Our universe is a complex place. Humans are one of the most complex species. I think we need both science and religion.

Intercessory Prayer

While I'm at home, I like to get together with my friends, catch up on what they are doing, and just enjoy spending time with them. Over the last few days, I've gotten to spend some extended time with friends I don't always get to spend much time with in my short time frames at home. My friends are diverse - some from my current church family, some who have been part of my church family in the past, some from school days, some from Girl Scouts. But in my get togethers over the last few days, there has been a common thread. As I visit with each friend, I found that I could better pray for them after our visit. I knew more what is going on in their life now. And unfailingly, there were issues that need God's special touch. I found myself repeating the phrase: "Hum, now I know better how to pray for you."

I've read two books, Maxie Dunham's Workbook of Intercessory Prayer, and The Workbook of Living Prayer that have helped me in my prayer life. One I did as part of my devotional time, the other I taught at Ladies' Bible Class several years back. The study on intercessory prayer was powerful and compelling. I even got compulsive . . . if I don't pray about it, God can't answer. I've rejected that theme inpart because it puts too much pressure on me, and it gives me the possibility of taking credit for what is really God's work. I learned to pray regularly for people, but I don't feel called right now to pray for anyone every single day. Sometimes as part of my meditation and prayer time, some one's name comes up in my mind, and I do take time to pray for them. I also regularly make a written list of people around me - family, friends, neighbors, etc and pray specifically for the needs that I know about. The written list helps me focus my thoughts about what I want to pray for each one. It also gives me a history to look back through later and see how God has worked in their lives to answer those prayers.

But the people I've been around the last few days have not been on that list. I will take time this week to pray specifically for each of the needs that I could see.

I looked up the word intercessory at Dictionary.com.

Intercessory: Entreaty in favor of another, especially a prayer or petition to God in behalf of another.

Intercede: to act or interpose in behalf of someone in difficulty or trouble, as by pleading or petition: to intercede with the governor for a condemned man.

I think intercessory prayer does a number of things. First of all, when you take time to talk to people, asking about what is going on in their lives right now, they know that you care about them. When they share things that are concerning them with you, it takes some of their burden and allows you to share it with them - making it lighter. Sometimes, God uses those times so that you can share an insight or another way of looking at the problem. Sometimes, all you need to say may be: "Wow, that sounds like a painful thing to be going through." Or perhaps, "that is a difficult thing . . . anyone would be having problems with that."

But human problems don't always have immediate solutions. Human illnesses may stump doctors or have no permanent cures. I believe that God exists, that he cares what happens to us, and that he is still active here on earth. Therefore, prayer is important. Yes, God knows everything before we ask, but Jesus tells us: "Ask and ye shall receive, knock and the door shall be opened, seek and ye shall find." Medical science cannot explain it and is divided over the studies, but there are scientific studies that have shown that patients that are prayed for have statistically better outcomes than those who were not prayed for. (Correction: "Surveys have shown that millions of Americans routinely pray when they are ill or when someone they know is. A growing body of evidence has found that religious people tend to be healthier than average, and that people who pray when they are ill are likely to fare better than those who do not. Many researchers think religious belief and practice can help people by providing social support and fostering positive emotions, which may produce beneficial responses by the body." Rob Stein - Washington Post ) I can't explain it, but I've had difficult times in my life when people were praying for me. As the crisis ended, I could feel it somehow when the prayers tapered off, and it was time for me to walk less assisted.

Will I know and actually see the answers to the prayers I will make this week? Possibly not. But I know that in some mysterious way, my prayers will make a difference in the lives of these friends.

More thoughts for the day

I ran across this quote today. I would love to live this ideal life. I would love it if everyone that came into contact with me left better and happier. Will that always be possible . . . perhaps not. But I think that finding quotes like this . . . and using them to inspire us to live our lives on a higher plane - brings a richness to our lives. While I am human, and often fail to reach my lofty ambitions, I still think it is better to strive for growth in my spiritual nature, even when I fall short due to my human frailties.

Another quote from Mother Teresa:

Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor... Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting.

"Night School"

Periodically I have a night where I just don't sleep well. Or at least it feels like I don't. Last night was one of those nights. I went to bed and was just slightly uncomfortable - my stomach wasn't upset . . . but it was not happy either. While I was probably more asleep than awake, I was not completely asleep either.

Some years back one of my Christian friends referred to nights like this as "night school." I have several things and people in my life that have important prayer needs right now - and their names kept going through my mind. Usually I don't try to pray about important things right before I go to sleep, because it gets my mind churning. I find myself worrying about what I'm praying about rather than releasing it. And, yes, perhaps some of these "worries" contributed to my sleeplessness last night.

But last night, after I had mentally gone through the list of people in my life that I'm praying for, I fell asleep. So perhaps that was God's way of "reminding" me to bring my worries and anxieties to him.

Prayer time

I try to spend time on a regular basis in prayer. I wish I could say that I spent quality time in prayer every day. Sometime it is so . . . . but I'm still working on consistency. And I have several prayer styles. Sometimes, it is a quick prayer right before I go to bed. I've learned that bedtime is NOT a good time for praying for things you are worried about. For me, it just puts my mind on them and part of my brain churns rather then letting them go. Evening prayer time is better for thanksgiving and praise.

My best prayer time is in the mornings out on my porch. I've begun to treasure that time. I generally take a cup of tea or coffee and something that looks like breakfast. I sit in my iron chair with the iron ottoman to prop my feet up. I listen and watch for birds. I read a passage from the One Year Bible. I generally have at least one other devotional or meditation book. And I have a journal. I've gone through quite a few. Each journal book clocks a different period of time. I just finished one that I started in March.

To match my personality, my journal entries are eclectic. Lately, I've been jotting down the birds I see along with the devotional thoughts that "spoke" to me. And, I write my prayers. I suspect I should tell my children and husband never to read my journals , because some of the prayer thoughts concerning other people are private, personal secrets. And then again, they are a written history of how God has answered my prayers over time. I pray for my family, I pray for my friends. I pray for my congregation, for world events. I pray for our daily needs, our financial security. I believe in praying specifically.

The Workbook on Intercessory Prayer by Maxie Dunnam stressed the importance of praying for each other with the thought that God can't answer what we don't ask. While it was a great study on prayer, I found myself becoming compulsive in my prayers. I felt a big burden on my shoulders. If I did not pray for it, if I did not pray hard enough about it, if I did not have enough faith . . . . was I letting someone down?

The first year my friend, Debbie, was fighting cancer, I prayed every day for her healing. I pleaded with God. I gave him what I thought were very good reasons why he should heal her. My nephew, Blake, was in Iraq as a Marine. I had a prayer litany that I said for each of them every night as I went to sleep. Blake is back from Iraq, safe in all the ways I prayed. There are even miracle stories - his vehicle hitting a land mine - and no one was hurt or killed. He could feel the prayer shields around him, protecting him in that far away place. Debbie is still fighting cancer. Somewhere along the way, God gave me a sense of peace about Debbie. I can't explain it. I still pray for her, regularly, intensely . . . but not every day.

A group of us pray regularly with Debbie. One of the ladies has commented that God will hear and answer these sweet prayers we are offering to him. We pray before each chemo session. Each of us brings a different perspective - the doctors, her physical comfort, her peace of mind, strength for her family, as well as for complete healing. While Debbie is still fighting cancer, she is still alive, still strong, and still vibrant. Two years ago, she came very close to death. I believe that the continuous prayers for her were answered, she is still alive and so much stronger than she was this time two years ago. She has lived life fully, travelling the world with her husband, enjoying her children these last two years. She will tell you of how God has been with her and given her strength and courage.

As I contemplate and meditate, I know that I do not have the same world view as God. I do not have His wisdom. I can not see what He sees. This time last year, we were worried about my father-in-law. I emailed our preacher, Roger, to get Gene on the church's prayer list. I will never forget his reply: "praying for God's perfect will." While last year, Gene seemed near death, this year he has stablized and is so much better than last year.

While my job is to pray, and to pray without ceasing, it is NOT my job to second guess whether my prayers are "good enough," whether I have enough faith, whether I am righteous enough, etc. God knows what we need before we ever ask. But our prayers of petition are an acknowledgement of who is in control of this world.

During these years I have told my friend that what is supposed to happen will happen. While it may sound fatalistic, this concept gives me a lot of peace. I am acting as a prayer warrier in a battle whose ultimate victory is already assured. God already knows the end of the story. I believe that it will in some way be a victory. While bad things can happen to good people, I also believe that God is still in control of this world and active in it. I don't know what God's perfect will is for my friend, for my family, or even for myself. But I know that God hears my prayers and answers them in a way far better than anything I could dream. How do I know this? Is it simply blind faith on my part? I don't think so. Over the last 35 years, I have seen God work out many seemingly impossible situations. Because God is working in the hearts of men, some prayers take longer to answer than others. But the end result is worth waiting for.

Words from the Father

When I take time to spend time in God's word, I often find that the scriptures or study books that I am using often parallel what is currently going on in my life. With Gene going through the final stages of the aging process, my scripture reading jumped out at me today:

From Psalm 71
Be my rock of refuge to which I can always go . . . .
Do not cast me away when I am old;
do not forsake me when my strength is gone . . . .
Be not far from me, O God . . . .
Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God . . . .
Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
From the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.

Such a wonderful reminder of the new life we have waiting for us beyond the grave.

God's Provision

Most of you know I hurt my shoulder falling on ice in a parking lot while in Colorado. Once we got back to Austin, I got started with a chiropracter to do some therapy to recover the full range of motion. Last week he gave me an exercise to do with a full milk jug to try to gently pull the bones apart in the jammed shoulder socket.

I needed to run to Galveston to check the condition of the condo there in preparation for some new furniture and to attend the annual homeowners' meeting. To my dismay, when I walked in the room, it had not been cleaned after the previous occupant (hopefully my sister-in-law, Martha rather than a stranger.) I called down and got a new set of sheets and towels brought up. The sheets were the wrong size, but I was able to make them work - no pillowcases, however. It was easy to get grumbly when it is late and you are tired and things are not going smoothly.

But . . . . . .I have to say I also see God's hand in this situation. I had not brought a jug with me to do my exercises. And what was sitting on top of the kitchen counter . . . . . . . . A gallon jug of water. I was able to do my exercise for my shoulder before I went to bed last night. I did not go to bed grumpy.

(Of course, I set the alarm and it woke me for some unknown reason in the middle of the night . . . . . . but I am posting this to remember to keep my thoughts on the positive things . . . . . Even though a little tired today, I refuse to be grumpy!!!!!!! God is too good!)

Today . . . . .

Let me say upfront, I am not usually good with things that require daily disciplines - I am too easily distracted and usually have many things or projects going on in my life. But a practice that I try to keep going, however irregularly, is a "quiet" time with God. As part of that time, I have a journal. When I browse through the pages and realize how irratic it is . . . . I grimace inwardly.

The Bible I use with my daily time is a One Year Bible with scriptures set up to read an Old Testament passage, a New Testament passage, a Psalms passage, and a verse or two from Proverbs. I started in January trying to read all of them in the hope that I would make it through the entire Bible this year. I found, however, that I was just reading it - without having time to contemplate on the meaning for me, today, at this point in my life. So, I've gone back to reading the Psalm passage for a given day. If a miss a few days, I go ahead and read the passage for today's date. I start with the Psalm - and if I find meaning for my life, I may highlight or underline the verses that resonated with me. Because I've been doing this several years - coming back to a marked passage usually reinforces what had special meaning for me.

On a few rare days, the Psalms passage does not have a verse or two that jumps out at me - so I search in the other passages for the day. Generally, I find something on which to focus my thoughts. Today was a day when nothing in the daily passages really leaped out at me, leaving me searching through other back-up resources. My book on Abundance is one that I added yesterday for further enrichment. But today I was still searching . . . . I thumbed back through my journal, happy that over the last several months, I have more entries and more pages, a hint of a little more consistancy. But then I found the thoughts that resonated . . . for today. I found them in prior pages in my journal from perhaps a couple of years ago. Sometimes I note where I found what I journaled - this time I don't know whether I was writing from a source material, or if these were my own thoughts. But they were encouraging to me, and I am posting them here, because I think they might be helpful to others:

Each day is a new beginning, an unwritten page, a clean slate, unspoiled.
Nothing that happened in the past can be changed.
In God's book, it is in the past, forgiven, forgotten.
The past should not be allowed to spoil a new day.
Each day brings new opportunities.
Each day should start with joy:
"I am ALIVE!"
"I have a chance to make today beautiful!"

While there may be times when I need to bring out something ugly from the past to examine it or to understand it, for today, I will keep it in a mental "box" - so that I can enjoy the present.

Today I will look for beauty.
Today I will spend time with God
Today I will be joyful.
Today I will be optimistic - not letting little things obscure the big picture.
Today I will be courageous, trusting God to meet my needs and protect me.

Abundance

It is so easy to get frustrated and worried when you don't see immediate solutions to life's daily challenges. But abundant living through God's provision is a solid Biblical concept. My morning's devotional from "The Art of Abundance" by Candy Paull reflected living life with that faith and hope that God IS going to provide the things we need. We put away our fear and open our lives and hearts up each day to experience God's gifts for today.

At the macro workshop, Nancy Rotenberg , made a comment that really spoke to me of abundance. Instead of previsualizing her shots for a day, she goes out and sees what shows up. She said that it was her experience that if you went out and waited, something usually presented itself as a photographic opportunity.

Today is a day that I need to get one or maybe two submissions out the door and in the mail. I have asked God to help me get past my fears - both known and hidden- and to help me experience the gift of His abundance in my life today.

God's Time

As humans, we measure time in seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years. We usually have time estimates as to how long a given task will take. When we get ill, one of our first questions to our doctor is usually how soon will I be well and functioning normally.

Life itself presents many challenges to us as we live it day to day.

As kids, we can hardly wait get our first bicycle, go to school, finish high school etc.

As parents, it is so easy to think such things as:

"I will be SO glad when we are out of diapers."
"I'll be SO glad when he can use words to TELL me what is wrong."
"I'll be so glad when I'm out of college and have a real job."

Today at church one of our families asked us to pray for a crisis situation with their fourteen year old grandson. For many families, teenage years can be rough years. Between individual internal biochemistry issues, emotional problems, puberty, and the need to become independent and individual from parents, this time frame leaves a lot of wounds. One of our favorite words of comfort to people going through such rough times is often: "God's time is not our time."

I was thinking about that today as I was driving in the car. A word picture of this came into my mind. My grandfather bought a farm and farmed it while I was small. We still own that farm and most visits home to my family included a trip to check on the farm and crops. In addition, when the kids were young, I had many vegetable gardens and I planted fruit trees and grapevines.

When you are planting radishes, it takes about three weeks from planting to harvest.
When you are planting corn, wheat, and milo, it takes four to six months from planting to harvest.
When you are planting fruit trees, depending on the size tree you buy, you are looking at getting your "first fruits" in 3-5 years- and several more before it becomes a bountiful harvest.
When you are planting pecan trees, it generally takes 10 years or more (our pecan trees took over 15 years before they started producing.)
The "farmers" who plant forests for lumber are looking ahead 20 years for a harvest of the seedlings they are planting.
Saguaro cactus don't reach "maturity" for 100 years.
Redwoods and sequoia trees live for thousands of years.

So often as we go through the teenage years, the early adult years, we expect God's answers to our prayers to be immediately answered. Human hearts and psychology are very intricate. Even with God's great and almighty power, the best answers to our prayers for human growth and development take years of cultivation, water, and nuture to bear fruit.

So next time you are wrestling with one of life's difficult human challenges - are you really looking for a "radish"? God is looking to create the beauty of a forest, or a tall saguaro, or the stately grace of the redwoods and sequoia trees. Jesus told us about the lily that toiled not, neither did it spin, yet it was beautifully arrayed. Are we not more important to God? While my human desires and lack of patience want a speedy resolution, I've learned that waiting for God's longer more well thought out answer always gives me special blessings and usually an answer beyond anything I could have thought up for myself.